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Loveawake.com blog

Free dating tips and advice

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How the Hookup Culture is Affecting America’s Youth

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-27 14:32

When we talk about the dating scene in America, the singles of the country are more or less going in the same direction. They are all too engrossed in the hook-up culture that comprises of casual sex and booze without any feeling of love or commitment from the other person. While this may seem like the convenient way out, there are many ways in which the hook-up culture is affecting America’s youth:

1. It is desensitizing youth towards actual love and commitment.

This casual sex and one night stands are making the country’s youth unaware of what actual commitment and relationships mean as they only look at others for some casual fun and do not even try to explore the other person’s personality. We do not have those butterflies in the stomach anymore when we see a hot guy or a hot girl and do not make any efforts to woo the other person naturally. 

2. It is forcing youngsters to bow down to peer pressure and engage in casual sex.

Even if someone doesn’t want to take the easier way out and actually want to explore their feelings, their friends and colleagues do not allow them to do so. They make fun of the fact that somebody doesn’t want to engage in casual sex with a random stranger and this can make a significant impact on a person’s ego and forces them to engage in sex. This is why casual dating apps like tinder are so popular.

3. It reduces people to just a caricature of themselves.

With casual hook-ups, you just do not have to make any efforts to understand a person on a deeper level. In fact, people do not even acknowledge each other after a casual night together which is even more dangerous. The thrill and fun that you get from a hook-up can take a huge toll on the emotional side. It reduces you to a commodity and makes you feel nothing more than somebody who is known for his or her body. It also demotivates the person from trying anything which improves his or her personality as they no longer need to come across as a good human being to the other person.

4. The youth feel the need to repress their feelings.

When you have sex with somebody casually without any strings attached, it tends to make you feel good for a while after which you sink into an emotional rollercoaster. The person you just had sex with might linger in your mind for some time and you might even get attracted to him or her but the pressure of looking cool and modern stops you from approaching them again. This even reduces the chances of any real relationship blooming out of these casual encounters. 

5. It kills their self-esteem in more ways than one.

It makes you feel used. As simple as that. The youth of America are becoming more and more ignorant of their self-esteem and worth after going through a series of hook-ups with partners they don’t even know on a first-name basis. It destroys how they actually feel about their personality and body. 

6. It takes a lot of time for people to unlearn what they learn through this culture.

Once the youth gets trapped in this vicious circle of casual sex and drinks, it is almost impossible to feel your normal self again. It takes a lot of time to heal and start looking at people like actual humans rather than just someone you need for carnal pleasure. People say that they are never able to put their whole heart in a long-lasting meaningful relationship after experiencing the hook-up culture as it has reduced their emotional ability to survive in a relationship. People take ages to get out of this feeling and can sometimes no longer display their emotions properly. 

7. It takes the fun out of the whole thing. 

More often than not, the country’s youth actually proclaims that this whole dating culture does not seem as much fun as it did initially and the whole novelty concept dies down after a while. You feel trapped in the cycle and there is no way to get out of it without losing your emotional sanity. It becomes boring after a while and people start craving for an actual real relationship which provides them with the love and warmth that a person needs to be happy in life.


6 Reasons to Talk Less About Relationships in Social Networks

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-27 10:02

It’s great to take pictures with a partner, come up with funny statuses and post stories where you walk in the park. This way you can keep your friends and family informed now, and later you will be able to awaken long-forgotten but pleasant memories. However, the clinical psychologists believe that the constant talks about what’s happening in your relationships are a red flag. The good news is that the silent mode in social networks will change the atmosphere in your couple for the better. Let’s find out how exactly this happens.

1. You will live in the moment

Here you can draw an analogy with a concert. It’s one thing when you can shoot the performance of your favorite band to review it later. However, it’s much cooler to sing along to the artists with the crowd, dance to your favorite tracks, and enjoy the moment when you are involved in single girls dating. The same happens in a relationship. The time spent on social networks, you and your partner could spend much more productively: discuss plans, talk about interests, do what you love — such a pastime will significantly strengthen the emotional connection.

2. You will feel the sincerity of the relationship

Living the moment, instead of coming up with another abstruse status for the post, you will realize that in this case, you feel affection for each other. At the same time, going to a picnic for the sake of good photos, you as if shift your energy to documenting the “fun” in social networks instead of enjoying each other’s company. Nobody forbids taking pictures for the sake of good images, but do not forget to spend time without phones. It is unlikely that you will regret that you haven’t posted a picture of breakfast for two on Instagram, but you will regret about warm and important words that have never been said.

3. You will start experiencing less stress and external pressure

Focusing on social networks, we involuntarily think about how well we display our rich inner world and whether we keep up with the trends. Hiding behind ideal images and ideas about relationships, we try to match them one hundred percent and put mental health in jeopardy. Many users of social networks no longer use them to preserve memories since it is important for them to keep up with others. By not focusing on how your relationship looks, you reduce the level of pressure created by the artificial desire to keep a public face.

4. You will become closer to each other

Being in a relationship, you devote all your free time to a partner, especially at the initial stage. We are sure that nothing will spoil the moment so much as surfing on the Internet, instead of showing attention to the soulmate. Nonetheless, investing in communication, you create neurobiological patterns that enhance empathy and the desire to care.

5. You will keep your relationships truly private

Many people need to keep their personal lives private, and that’s normal. You will add a few points to karma and show that the soulmate is a priority for you if you ask your partner before posting on the social network whether they want to flaunt what is happening to them now. By the way, this measure will also help from possible negative comments about your couple.

6. You will cease to compare yourself with others

Nowadays very often, ideas about how we should look, think and act come from social networks. Constant comparison is an unconscious mechanism, but it works against mental health and relationships. Looking through the news feed, especially if you are subscribed to “happy couples and parents,” you see how other couples behave and, perhaps, want to bring something new to your relationship. However, it is important to remember that posts in social networks little reflect the whole truth. Bloggers check the contents of profiles several times and strive to show an idealized life. Reality is not a Disney cartoon. They don’t always sing wonderful songs, dance or love each other with all their hearts as well as give bouquets. And this is natural. However, artificial high standards make us feel inferiority complex and waste our efforts on trying to achieve perfection. Refusal from frequent posting in social networks will help stop comparing yourself with others, and therefore, feel imperfect.


Are You and Your Spouse a Silent Movie, or an Action Adventure?

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-26 18:32

When you spend time alone with your spouse, are things so quiet, you could cue the crickets to make some background noise and lessen the
discomfort?

If so, you’re not alone. It seems to be a pattern that many marriages fall into: stifled communication.

In this blog, we’ll look at a relationship study that was done on this very topic. Also, I’ll help you reignite the intimate, sharing  spark between you and your spouse once again in 3 steps. Read on…

How Does Your Marriage Stack Up?  

A small study involving 500 married couples revealed a pattern: the longer a couple was married, the less time they spent talking at the dinner table.

Surprised?

Maybe you’ve noticed it in other couples (it’s always easier  to view from the outside than to view our own situations from within). You’re at dinner, and you glance over at a couple: he is staring off in one direction, she’s staring off in another. The only conversation they have is with their waiter when they give their food and drink order.

Is this what others see when they look at you and your spouse?

What you have witnessed, and may yourself be experiencing,  is a form of neglect. The forgotten ability to talk is actually a major issue  that needs your attention.

Here’s some more from the study:

Couples who had been married for various lengths of time (some married a year, others for over 50 years), were surveyed on how much time they averaged talking with one another during a typical dinner. Here are the results, showing length of marriage and the amount of time spent in  conversation:

One year: 40 minutes

Ten years: 29 minutes

Twenty years: 21 minutes

Thirty years: 16 minutes

50 years: less than 3 minutes

The longer you’ve been married, the more likely you are to feel like you know everything there is to know about your spouse. You may think that you’ve already shared everything there is to share.

Communication efforts can become lax as the relationship settles into comfortable familiarity. But what begins as a relaxation in your communication efforts can quickly become malignant—compromising the very foundation of your marriage. This is when you start to think, “We no longer have anything in common,” and “We don’t connect anymore.”

You’re right: you don’t connect anymore. Three minutes at dinner does not help maintain an intimate connection. But, you don’t have to settle for this. You can learn how to spark up conversation with your spouse again, using the following 3 steps:

Step 1: So… What Are you Talking About?

Think about the last five verbal exchanges you’ve shared  with your spouse. Categorize them as such:

A: Deep, meaningful exchanges about individual goals, mutual goals and sharing future plans; discussing news events, articles, movies, art  and/or books.

B: Deciding what to have for dinner and who will clean up, and other chore-like topics.

No one is grading you, so be honest and see under which category your last five conversations fall.

Step 2: Step Up… It’s for a Good Cause

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that if your last several conversations with your husband or wife ended up on the non-titillating “B” end of the spectrum, you have some work to do.

What would you be more likely to attend: a movie with meaning, or a movie about two people splitting up the chore list? Make the conscious decision as to which of these scenarios your marriage will resemble in the very near future. Give it some thought, and come prepared to surprise your spouse with the unexpected.

Step 3: Raise the Bar

Set high expectations for your marriage and the ability of you and your spouse to communicate at an “A” level. For your next several  conversations, have some ideas prepared for topics you’d like to bring up with your spouse. Travel the unbeaten path here… to be a successful  conversationalist with anyone—including your spouse—you have to work at being interesting.

Also, I recommend you bring up positive, or at least neutral, topics, rather than starting a conversation about the lawn care your spouse has been neglecting or the need for some more help with the household chores.

My best to you in making your conversations with your spouse more exciting.

What are your ideas for enlivening conversation between you and your spouse, starting tonight? 


Better than Making Love…

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-26 18:25

The happiest couples rank one thing as being the most satisfying part of their happy union.

This one thing even outranked sex!

In today’s blog, I’ll share with you the results of a survey designed to ferret out the secrets of the world’s happiest couples. Then, I’ll give you 2 tips to maximize this happiness-inducing one thing into your relationship.  Read on…

The 1 Thing Happy Couples Love

Long-term couples who actually count themselves in the “happy” category tend to share common characteristics.  Some of those include respect and admiration, a deep and abiding love, and a willingness to not sweat the small stuff.

In a survey that was done to see what the world’s happiest couples can teach the rest of us, couples answered hundreds of questions to see what separated the wheat from the chaff.

While being affectionate, feeling like one’s partner is a friend and sex were ranked as a healthy part of a happy relationship, 40% of the happiest couples surveyed ranked communication at the best part of all.

Really?  Talking over sex?

It makes sense, and here’s why…

Good communication, where you and your partner share the deepest, most intimate thoughts and feelings with each other creates a strong bond.  Your intimate connection weaves tighter and tighter, and your sense of trust can also deepen.

The trouble is, too many couples become lazy with their talk.  They stick to the most banal topics, such as grocery list items and what traffic was like on the commute home.

There’s nothing wrong with this.  Not every conversation is going to be a deep philosophical discussion, nor is every moment ripe for the bearing of your soul.  When you’re driving somewhere together and you’re lost and trying to figure out where you are isn’t the best time to dig into the meaning of life, right?

However, a little time and attention can turn your talk-time from blah to zing.  Here’s how…

Talk-Time Booster Tip #1: Timing It Right

So timing is everything, but it doesn’t have to be a grand production.  One thing that helps is timing your communication with what’s going on, and timing things appropriately.

Like the example I just gave, you don’t dig into the meaning of life when your partner is trying to ask someone for directions.  First of all, they’re distracted, and so you won’t have their full attention.  It’s a challenge to feel intimately connected to someone who is so distracted, they can only answer you with “uh huh, uh huh.”

Talk-Time Booster Tip #2: Grease the Wheels

Along with timing your conversations appropriately, you also want to create an environment that is conducive to deeper talks.

For example, some of the best talks a couple can have is while out for a walk.  They’re moving, they’re relaxing, they’re in nature… and something about that combination helps couples open up to each other in ways they don’t do at the dinner table.

So, find a fun activity, something that makes you both laugh and relax, and then regularly schedule time for it.

This will grease the wheels to get you both talking away… and joining that 40% statistic of the happiest couples.


The #1 Reason to NOT Bottle Up Your Pain

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-25 17:02

Did you know that not expressing your pain to your spouse could increase your risk for serious diseases, such as heart disease and cancer?

As a victim of cheating, what has been unleashed on you is a world of hurt. And one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have is finding the words to tell your spouse how terribly hurt you are by their affair. The affair has devastated you—emotionally, psychologically – and even physically. You may feel a tremendous amount of stress and pressure.

You need to communicate these feelings and emotions to your spouse—for the sake of your marriage—and for your personal health. In this blog, I’ll give you 3 steps for making this conversation happen.

Bottling up Pain is Bad for Your Health

As the victim, you may struggle to find the words to express this pain. But the number one reason you shouldn’t bottle it up is for your health.

Researchers have long known that this bottling up of feelings and emotions can have damaging effects on your physical health. In fact, studies support that expressing your feelings can actually boost the functioning of your immune system, while not expressing those feelings can lower immune-system functioning. This leaves the door open for illness.

Keeping it all bottled up inside is not worth it for the sake of your health: in this case, both your physical health and your relationship health. Communication is the bedrock of your relationship with your spouse, and being able to have this difficult conversation is a must if you are to move forward.

You deserve to be able to express this in a way that moves both you—and your relationship—forward. To not express this pain means you are taking a chance on sacrificing your long-term health.

The healing of your emotional pain can only begin once you have addressed your needs with your spouse—and communicated to them exactly where you’re coming from: a well of pain.

By focusing on improving communication with your spouse and truly opening up, you can begin to move through the pain and into a deeper, more intimate relationship. This paves the way for you and your spouse to rebuild your marriage once again, but with an even stronger foundation.

And, you can ease the feelings of stress and anxiety you’re experiencing within by releasing this pain and hurt, and taking the pressure off of your immune system in the process.

Communicating Your Post-Affair Pain

Your communication style as a couple may have been less than ideal since your early days of dating. Poor communication skills may have become a habit—and may have led to the breakdown of your marriage. But skills are learned behaviors, which means you and your spouse have the opportunity to unlearn poor skills and replace them with effective ones.

Discussing the pain caused by your spouse’s affair is one of the most critical conversations you could have, and in order to move forward, it’s the place to begin. Here are 3 steps for having this critical conversation:

Step 1: Set up a time and place to talk

To have an effective conversation and be able to pour out your heart and soul, you need to make space and time for it to happen. Imagine trying to have this conversation in the morning as you’re both trying to get out the door to work. Or, while the television or radio is blaring.

The atmosphere is not conducive to the victim’s ability to truly express what they’re feeling, if you’re competing against outside distractions or against the clock. Make the time to sit and talk in a quiet place, free of distractions.

Step 2: Determine the conversation ground rules

In order to have an effective conversation, you need to set some guidelines. This will be a difficult conversation – one that can easily lead to raised voices, defensiveness and interruptions.

Agree with your partner that you are going to give them your perspective, whether they agree with what you are saying or not, and they are to hear you out without interruption. Also agree that your spouse should reflect back what they heard you say. It’s a way to develop both conversational and listening skills that come from a place of respect rather than defensiveness.

Step 3: Agree to be completely honest

This is your time to express all of that pain you are feeling. Make it count by being completely open about what your spouse’s affair has done to you, why it hurts so much, and what the after-effects have been for you. Your spouse may not fully understand what you’re going through, but it’s important you don’t hold back in order to achieve the healthy release that you need.

My best wishes for you as you heal from the pain of infidelity and find a way to effectively communicate this pain.

Have you had the critical conversation with your spouse about the pain you are experiencing?

Have you tried to keep a “strong” front and bottled up your pain?

By not expressing your pain, what effects do you think this has had on your health? On the health of your relationship with your spouse?

Please share your thoughts and experiences about communicating your innermost pain and hurt.


Cheating Husband? Social Media May Give You A Clue

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-25 16:52

Virtual cheating may not be the traditional tryst we think of when we imagine infidelity, but it appears to be making a stab at becoming the new modern tradition, if modern cheating husbands are any indication. And it’s not just men: women are doing it, too.

If you look at news headlines over the past several months – even years – there seems to be a newly evolving means to cheat.

What separates modern adultery from what was more “traditional,” and how do you protect your marriage? Read on to discover the answer…

Cheating Gets Social

The modern means of cheating includes terms such as “sexting” and the startling ease of taking a quick photo of oneself – using camera phones and computer-connected cameras – in various states of undress and sending it in emails or posting to social media sites. There are many stories about old high school sweethearts finding each other on one of the social sites and reuniting after 20-odd years.

Does this mean there are more opportunities to cheat?

Not necessarily more opportunities – just more selection on how to pursue people outside of the marriage. A cheating husband now has more variety in carrying on an affair. If someone decides to cheat, they’re going to accomplish it. Straying spouses who are so inclined did it long before social media, and will continue to do so whether social media is available or not.

There’s some debate as to whether these new options really constitute cheating. Some people narrowly define infidelity as performing a sex act with someone other than your spouse.

But really, the way to define cheating in a marriage is: how does the victim feel about your actions?

Anytime a spouse takes their attention and affection outside of the marriage bonds, they are inflicting some degree of emotional pain on their spouse. To what degree the victim feels the pain is based on their individual views, beliefs and individual circumstances. A cheating husband or wife can come up with all of the justifications they want – it’s their spouse’s pain that counts.

Most spouses don’t want to think that their spouse is engaging in explicit or even subtle sex talk with someone else, or sending them suggestive pictures. While their spouse may not be engaging in a physical affair, the victim spouse may wonder at what point that line would be crossed. Engaging in sex talk and sending come-hither photos is certainly the opening salvo for a lot of physical affairs, so the danger of all-out cheating looms large.

Use Traditional Rules to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity

New methods for cheating on your spouse do not mean you need to make drastic efforts to curtail access to social media or new phone gadgets, whether your spouse has cheated or you suspect they may be tempted to cheat, using these new devices.

The old, traditional marriage rules still apply, even in the face of these new methods. Look at it this way: the camera doesn’t make the decision to cheat, the phone doesn’t make the decision to cheat, and any of the social media sites don’t make the decision to cheat: cheaters make the decision to cheat. It still comes down to a person making a decision that will affect their marriage.

Let’s review three main, traditional rules to adhere to in protecting your marriage from social media and modern technology gadgets:

Rule #1: Entrench Transparency in Your Relationship

Yes, there are new avenues for people to go astray and cheat on their partners – but only if the traditional rule of not hiding things from your spouse is ignored. Are cell phone records being hidden? Are pictures being taken with a camera phone that you wouldn’t want your spouse to see? Are you secretive about your Facebook friends and their relationship to you?

Transparency means being open and honest about all of your dealings and actions. If you feel the need to hide something, then you’re probably headed down the wrong avenue. Ask your spouse to also be aware of this trap.

Rule #2: Don’t Neglect Needs, Either Your Partner’s – or Yours

Take time to take stock of your relationships: the one with your spouse, as well as the one with yourself. Are your needs being met? If not, make those needs known to your spouse. And, make it a point of discovering what your spouse’s needs are.

Needs change, so it’s something that needs to be addressed regularly. Both you and your spouse need to tap into your inner selves regularly, assess what’s going on – and then share the results.

Make sharing of needs a priority, as well as develop a “safe zone” in which you can introduce the topic, maybe with these words: “I have a need that is not getting addressed. Can I share it with you?”

Rule #3: Commit to Consistent Communication

The main rule to really keep the marriage glued together is this one: communicate. Transparency and getting needs met are virtually impossible without communication occurring.

Communication is an area where a lot of us may be guilty of thinking: “I’ve said it all before, he/she has said it all before, there’s not much left to say.” We all are constantly evolving as individuals, and so there may be new things to learn about your spouse. You won’t know unless you make it a habit of arranging time to spend together – the way you would with any of your good friends – and catch up with one another.

If communication has devolved to the point of talking about the grocery list, it’s time to rev things up again and make some plans together to get out and share time and thoughts.

My very best to you as you navigate the new technologies and work with your spouse to protect your marriage – either from harm or any additional harm.

What role has social media played in your life? Would you credit your or your spouse’s affair to its availability?

Do you think that new technology and social media sites increase temptation?

How are you managing these new avenues that may lead to temptation?

Please share your ideas and experiences with the community.


How to Prepare for a Date with an Asian Girl?

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-20 15:35

Making your date special is something that will be highly appreciated by Asian women. Tendermeets.com has created a great Valentines’ Day guide that can help you make your every date special. That way, you can prepare to date an Asian woman in the best way possible, knowing that you will be aware of how special these ladies can be.

Stereotypes You Should Get Rid Of

There are a number of stereotypes that surround dating Asian women, and it’s important that you identify and discard them before dating an Asian. For starters, there is the belief that Asian people are going to be meek and submissive to you in all aspects of romance. While that might be the case for some people, the fact of the matter is that there are plenty of women that are powerful. They are going to be more active in the relationship and expect you to treat them equally. With that in mind, other stereotypes include them being physically diminutive, wise, or love a certain type of food, like rice. Don’t expect these to be the case for everyone.

Rules to Follow for a Successful Date

If you want to have a successful date with an Asian woman, you have to follow some of these rules. For starters, you need to be polite with your date. That means you should have good manners, treat them right, and never presume that they owe you anything for going out on a date. You will want to find a place that is mutually beneficial and interesting for you and your date. Not only that, but you should discuss the expectations for the date before leaving for your date. These are some of the basic rules to follow, and there are a lot more to keep in mind if you want to be successful!

What Do Asian Women Prefer?

One thing that you have to realize about many Asian cultures is that there is a lot more respect towards one’s family than you typically see in the western world. As such, you might not meet parents for a few dates, but when you do, it’s a very significant event. Aside from families having more of a presence in the life of people, you also have to keep in mind that Asian women like men that are self-starters. That’s not to say that they expect all of their dates to be doctors. However, you should be established in your lifestyle if you want to start a relationship that has a chance at being long-term.

Knowing how to prepare to date an Asian woman is important if these are the sort of people that you want to meet. It’s important to be aware of the stereotypes that surround these ladies as well as how you can avoid them. Moreover, you should always do your best to be presentable and aware of the differences in your cultures. All in all, there are many ways that you can date an Asian woman, but you have to be aware of how you appear to these women, too.


10 Helpful Tips for A Healthy Relationship

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-20 11:33

Do you want a better and healthier relationship that will bring you happiness and gratitude? These tips will help.

  1. Keep Conversations Constructive

One of the most important things in a relationship is communication. Being able to talk to your partner without starting an argument might sound impossible now. But if both of you start taking responsibility instead of shifting blame, things can start moving in a productive direction. Yes, it sounds harsh and straightforward. But nobody is perfect. And just because you do not share the same perspective as your partner does not make you totally innocent. So, if you want your partner to work on certain things, you have to be willing to do the same.

  1. Learn To Actually Listen

When you often argue or fight with your partner, it gets incredibly easy to start ignoring the truth behind the “attacks”. Sometimes your partner will say something just to hurt you. However, there are times when truth hides behind their words. And if you or your partner gets stuck in denial, you do not want to face these truths. Learning to actually listen to each other while talking with respect can have a profoundly positive effect on the relationship.

  1. Do Not Be Passive-Aggressive

Avoiding issues and building up frustration is never recommended in a relationship. For one thing, it will lead to resentment. And secondly, it ensures that every argument is much more serious than it needs to be. If something is bothering you, take the time to calm down and find the right words. Then approach your partner with your issues. But whatever you do, never let yourself become passive-aggressive.

  1. Reinvent Your Relationship

You have heard it a million times before – keep things fresh and exciting. And even though you are doubtful about this little tip, there is no harm in testing it. Because when you introduce new traditions and romance into the relationship, it really helps to prevent it from stagnating. Whether we want to admit it or not, we get used to our partners. And this is a very dangerous place to be. If you’re finding it hard to get an erection then modern medicine can help and for medication visit prescriptiondoctor.com.

  1. Choose Your Battles

While it is encouraged to discuss things that make you unhappy, there are some things you have to learn to live with. For example, small habits that just annoy you for no reason do not have to be addressed. In other words, allow your partner to be themselves and only bring up issues when you feel he or she crosses a line.

  1. Show More Appreciation

If you go into the relationship with the intention of marrying the perfect partner, you are setting yourself up to fail. The fact is a perfect relationship does not exist. Some type of conflict is bound to surface because you are two different people. The big problem comes in when you assume your partner is going to stay the same for the rest of their lives. Neither are you. So, learn to appreciate your partner the way they are now!

  1. Allow Time Away From Each Other

Couples that spend a lot of time together run the risk of hitting the wall of boredom. More importantly, they usually do not make time to explore things they find interesting on their own. But in order to maintain a healthy relationship, both of you need time away from each other to grow as individuals. Give each other time to entertain personal interests and friendships. Then, when you spend time together, you will have more to talk about.

  1. Reduce The Pressure

You care about your partner and your relationship, so it is natural for you to worry whether you are in a good place. But do not get caught up in this state of mind, because then you are constantly going to search for reassurance from your partner. And do not expect every day to be magical. There are going to be some challenging days involved too.

  1. Beat Jealousy With Honesty

Getting jealous almost seems like a knee-jerk reaction in a relationship. And even though it is perfectly natural to get jealous, there are good and bad ways to express it. For example, if you are honest with your partner about not getting enough attention, simply tell them. But becoming passive-aggressive and angry can actually damage your relationship.

  1. Relationships Require Effort

If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you have to nurture it. This means putting in the effort to work through problems while always respecting your partner. And remember that you are not inside a movie. Relationships last much longer and come with many different stages. Ultimately, everything is up to how much effort you and your partner put into the relationship.

 


How to Seduce European Women

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-18 11:10

Firstly, I must say that this may be a lot more challenging (and a lot more fun) than seducing your standard girl next door. European and Russian chicks grew up under the guidance of suave sexual icons like Sophia Loren and Bridgitte Bardot, meaning – they’re no shy fawns – which can certainly present a problem one would otherwise not find in a self conscious American sweetheart. But, instead of addressing it as a road block, try thinking about it as a mystical bridge. FInally, you may find yourself in a situation where you’re dodging the sly moves of your lady in order to do some sly seduction work of your own.

A Quick Breakdown of European Femininity

These women are smart, cultured and crazy fun. In terms of layers, there are millions. They’re fiercely emotional, care deeply for the world and are extremely fickle about men. That being said, they are actually more flexible in terms of their masculine ideal than the average girl raised ogling Brad Pitt, which presents an advantage for you dudes – even if you struggle with any kind of aesthetic deficiencies or non-model qualities, you are still very much a candidate for European women, which brings us to our first point.

How to Act/ What to Say

European women are turned on by interesting men, rather than flawless faces. For example, embrace your overgrown moustache and share gnarley stories of some bizarre backpacking trip, rather than boast about your billions in the real estate bank. But ….talk about that, too. The most important thing here is keeping an equal balance of conversation, addressing an even spread of situations. Something about how you love the craftsmanship of Russian architecture and saw a “fascinating exhibit” at a new gallery opening, combined with your confession that you like horse races and whiskey breweries is perfect. This will give off the illusion that you are worldly and well rounded even if you aren’t.

How To Dress

You know those pictures of men on the riveria, wearing polo jackets, aviators and beige slacks with sleek loafers? This is certainly one fashion that is failsafe for the European vibe. Remember, however, not to try so painfully hard to appear European, as many European women specifically like non-European men. The idea is just to add hints of her natural environment to your wardrobe, to subconsciously encourage her to respect your aesthetic. As far as the more fancy version of an ideal ensemble, think “strangely sleek,” something in the vain of the new vampire craze. Slim ties, fitted dress shirts and well tailored blazers. Russian girls ( I would personally recommend take a look at https://goldenbride.net/russian-brides.html) rarely like a sloppy man, unless you’re rocking the whole ruffian thing super well.

Where to Take Her

We’ve established that culture is important. So, “fascinating” cultural adventures paired with stunning culinary wonders is pretty much a guaranteed passport to cross her border. As far as food, always go for something exotic and ethnically chique. This will impress her with your ability to separate from those Americans who are interested in nothing but Taco Bell and blood curdling burgers. If you sense, however that this chick is sick of European culture and just wants a good ole American good time, go for the classy junk food combos of great beer and gourmet pizza. So far as the “fascinating” cultural event goes, ask your classiest friends about new art exhibits, plays, modern dance performances …get the vibe? Artsy. They’re born that way.

How To Prepare Your Place

Your own apartment, which, I can only assume is your final ideal destination, should not look like a dirty-sock, poorly decorated single man den. Try a hand at cleaning your drapes, dropping some candles around the room, bringing out your old box of vinyl and dusting off the mantel. Make sure your bedroom inspires the idea of sexy shenanigans and not laundry day, meaning, puff up those down pillows, crack out that new comforter and lower them dimmers. European women want to feel treated like queens, to be swept off their feet (literally, do it).

When you arrive back at your place, don’t even ask if she wants a drink, simply pay attention to what she’s been ordering throughout the night and make sure you either uncover that in your cupboard or pick up a case on the ride home. European women like men who take control of a situation, men who possess an easy confidence in the fact that they are intent on seduction. So long as they are being treated as finely and flattered as subtly as they feel they are entitled to, there’s really no wrong you can do. They know why you’re there, so don’t act oblivious. Act as the dominant leader of the seduction’s direction. If you do something they don’t like, don’t worry – European chicks will let you know.


I’m Making Myself Miserable. How to Eliminate Images of the Paramour

Permalink - Posted on 2020-03-16 16:24

“I have no idea what she looks like, but that doesn’t stop my mind from filling in the shadowy details,” Maryann said. “We’re struggling to work on repairing our marriage, but I can’t get rid of these pictures in my mind. My husband says I’m focusing too much attention on it and that it’s me making myself miserable. He just doesn’t understand, and I’m hoping for the day where I’ll go a whole 24 hours without having an image of him and her together.”

It’s common, if you are the victim of an affair, to carry around images in your mind. You have probably experienced this excruciating daily exercise in what is often fantasy thinking.

Unfortunately, it is a horror show. Instead of rescuing you, your prince is the demon. Or if you’re a man, the woman of your dreams-the princess-is the demon. Now, you are saddled with a fantasy of the person you love with someone other than you starring opposite the person who was supposed to forever be your sweetheart.

What form are your images taking? Here are some common possibilities:

1. The paramour is physically “perfect” in every way.
2. Your spouse and the paramour laughing over something witty one or the other has said.
3. Images of your spouse and the paramour intimately entwined.
4. The paramour in your home, taking over, possessing your life.

When you haunt yourself with awful images, it’s similar to the person with the toothache who can’t stop pushing on it to make it hurt again. Your awful images probably represent your fear, distrust, and feelings of betrayal, but it could be other concerns, also. So what I’m going to do is give you three steps that will help you eliminate those awful images that have been haunting you.

Living Nightmares

You see the images begin in your mind, perhaps like a slide show, perhaps one image, perhaps like a movie, or perhaps some other representation. You’re torn: you don’t want these images, and yet, a part of you feels compelled to let them play.

You may experience feelings of disgust, obviously with the spouse who cheated, most certainly with the paramour-and possibly, with yourself. You question why you can’t control this nightmare line-up of images from happening, coming unbidden with all of its ugliness. Even your sleep may be invaded.

Your spouse had the “good time” with the paramour, while you are being tortured and your peace of mind destroyed by images related to the affair. Those haunting images may be pulling you down into a pit of despair you may feel powerless to escape.

Emotional Quicksand

When images of the paramour play in your mind, you feel yourself reeling from the impact as you react physically, emotionally and spiritually. Even if the infidelity was a one-time occurrence, you may feel a greater impact from the affair weeks or even months later.

The recurring images can drain you, and then you feel more vulnerable and find the images even more difficult to escape. It’s like emotional quicksand, pulling you down into an abyss from which it becomes more and more difficult to climb out.

Initially, it’s going to take a surge of effort on your part. But step-by-step, you can once again gain back your power over the images in your mind. Here is an exercise to help weaken the power of the fantasies as you strengthen your own inner power:

Step 1: Create a Quiet Zone

To begin to gain control over the images in your mind, schedule a time for them to come to you. This may seem at first counter-intuitive, but you might find it empowering to have control over at least one of these occurrences.

Set aside a period of time that you can sit quietly by yourself without interruption. Find a spot that is secluded, where you feel comfortable and relaxed. This quiet zone will represent both the time and place you have designated as permissible for the images to come forward.

Step 2: Invite the Fantasies In

Once you’re settled into your quiet zone, it’s time to bring to mind those fantasies that are consuming you. Remember, the difference is that you are deliberately inviting them in, so you are leading the exercise.

Let the images come to you in whatever way your mind developed them.

Step 3: Manipulate the Image

When your image of the affair is clear in your mind whether it’s in the form of pictures, or a movie, or something else, you’re ready to play with it.

One way to manipulate the image is to take this elaborate fantasy that you have deliberately created, and play it backwards in your mind. Hit your mental rewind button. Most people find this exercise helpful in beginning to feel better. If it doesn’t do that for you, then stop immediately, and don’t use this exercise.

If it does help you feel even a little better, you can practice it a few times, going faster each time. The repetition will help set the changes in your mind.