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Loveawake.com blog

Free dating tips and advice

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Attract Him with the Five Senses – Hearing

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 14:17

Let’s talk about the sense of Hearing.

Sound can be very powerful: waves crashing on the shore, leaves crunching under your feet, children laughing, a slot machine that just hit the jackpot. Some sounds relax us, some annoy us, and some seduce us like a compliment from our lover or his whisper or moan.

You have the power to impact your husband or even your first date by making sure he’s affected positively by what he hears…

Here are some basic dos and don’ts to keep in mind.

Do

Compliment him. But don’t overdo it. If he looks good, tell him. If he’s talented at something, let him know you are impressed.

Speak his language. Talk about current events, sports, work, hobbies and anything else you are both interested in.

Laugh at his jokes. It’s music to man’s ears.

Listen to your own voice on a recording. Yes, it’s frightening but necessary. You’ll hear where you need improvement. Do you speak too fast, is your tone uneven, do you pepper in “Umm”, “Like…”, or overdo words like “Actually” too often.

Say “Yes” instead of “Yeah”.

Use one of Jackie O’s tricks. She would speak soft and low so her gentlemen friends would have to lean in closer to hear her. A favorite of mine on romantic dates or anytime you want a seductive effect.

Say “Thank-you” often and sincerely. Men desire your appreciation and respect more than anything else.

Ask “Would you…” instead of “Could you…” It’s a small thing to us, but the difference between the two is not overlooked by men. They hear “Could you…” as doubt in their abilities.

Don’t

Don’t talk about your horoscope, past lives, inner child, therapist, or past boyfriends. Save it for your girlfriends.

Don’t insult the restaurant that he chose. (if it was horrible, be honest or he won’t trust your sincerity. Say “the service was bad but the company was great.” But only if he brings it up first.)

Don’t use “feeling” words. Men understand phrases such as: “Objectively speaking…”, “What’s Logical to me is…”, “I believe…”, “Here’s my take on the situation…”

Don’t unload the news of the day, details of your shopping spree, problems with the kids, or work concerns the minute he walks through the door. Men need to unwind and shift gears. Give him at least a half hour… then, leave out everything you can analyze with your girlfriends. He doesn’t need or want to hear about the argument you had with your sister or about the latest office shenanigans.

Don’t keep asking him “what’s wrong?” If you sense something is wrong but he doesn’t want to talk about it let him know you are there if wants to talk later and let it go. Men don’t need to analyze five ways till Sunday every lousy feeling they have.

Don’t keep nagging him to do a chore. Ask him once and trust it will get done. When you keep nagging, it makes him want to do it less because he feels emasculated by mommy.

Don’t tease him or criticize him in public – EVER! The male ego may be large and you may think it needs to be brought down a peg or two with lighthearted teasing at his expense but Ladies, the male ego is the most fragile thing in the world. Build him up to others, don’t tear him down.

Don’t try to be one of the guys by telling off color jokes, talking too much or too loud and being “the funny girl”. You are set apart, ladylike, always a little mysterious. He doesn’t need to know every thought you have the moment you have it.

The post Attract Him with the Five Senses – Hearing appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


Attract Him With the Five Senses – Sight

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 14:10

If you want to effect a lasting impression on your man, bring all of his senses to life.

Today, let’s talk about sight.

It’s been proven that when the senses are engaged in an experience, the memory of the experience is stronger. Weather you are newly dating, in a long term relationship or married, paying attention to the sensual aspects of your environment will affect your relationship in a positive way.

Let’s explore…

Men are awed by women who naturally and easily express their God given sensuality. They are drawn in and mysteriously spell cast by our femininity. Do you make an effort to bring your best self forward in appearance and attitude or have you become complacent from your routine? Here are some ideas to consider with regards to the sense of “sight”.

Clothes

Men are visual and while you certainly don’t have to look perfect at all times making sure your appearance is put together in a way men respond to is a big key to how attractive he sees you..

Accentuate your best features. If you have great legs, wear skirts more often.  If your arms are toned and sexy, show them off.

Your clothes should be form fitting showing your womanly curves, but not with everything hanging out. Men prefer a hint of sexuality so they can imagine the rest.

Brighter colors are more attractive and stimulating to men than neutral or black.

Hair and Make-up

It makes men feel cared for and special when their woman cares about her appearance. He wants to feel proud and lucky to have you on his arm and while we all wish love could be completely unconditional and our looks didn’t much matter, the fact is they do. Men aren’t expecting us to look like super models or look perfectly “done” at all times, they just want to see that we take the effort and care about our appearance just as much as we did when we started dating – for ourselves and for them.

Men want your hair soft and feminine. Not a severe style that’s loaded with gel and hairspray.

I was on a date once with a man who suddenly took his hand and ran it through my hair and commented that he had needed to find out if it was as soft as it looked.

While his was a bold move, (it was only our 3rd date) I was instantly grateful that I hadn’t sprayed it into a stiff, hard shell. Hair should look soft and feel soft.

We all look better with at least a little make up. While men like make up more natural, it’s important to “wow” him on date night by going the extra mile and playing up your eyes.

Your Body

You don’t have to be a size 4 or even the size you were when your relationship began, what makes you attractive is when you take effort to keep your present body in shape and healthy.

Exercise, eat a well balanced diet, don’t smoke and drink alcohol in moderation.

He loves to look at your body sitting, standing, dancing, sleeping and every posture in between. Give him that sensual pleasure and take pride in the assets you were born with.

Lingerie

What are you wearing under your clothes right now?

At the very least make sure your bra and underwear are in good condition and MATCH. Mismatched bras and panties that are torn and faded are NOT attractive. Get rid of them now!

Men want to feel like they are unwrapping a beautiful present that is just for them.

When you put a little effort into your undergarments men feel special and your stock as a beautiful, sensual woman goes way up.

The memory of undressing you to reveal pretty, feminine, lacy lingerie hiding your womanly treasures will burn on his brain for days.

Your Home

The overall first impression of entering your home and laying eyes on you will have a lasting effect on your man.

If your home is a display of clutter and disorganization how attractive do you think that is?

The clutter will be associated with YOU.

Take time to clean and organize your surroundings before your man comes over for a date or your husband comes home from work.

Have fresh flowers in a vase on the table. Light candles, or dim the lights turn off the TV. in favor of background music.

If you are newly dating, you probably still do take the extra time with your appearance and home. But if you are in a long term relationship or marriage, ask yourself if you’ve relaxed a bit in these areas.

If so, make a change. You will feel better about yourself and your man will feel lucky to be with a sensual woman who takes care of her appearance and environment for HERSELF and for HIM.

Memories of you and how his surroundings were relaxing and pleasurable will come back to your man throughout his hectic workday and make him feel connected to you in a positive way.

The post Attract Him With the Five Senses – Sight appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


How To Seduce Him Using Forbidden Fruit

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 13:57

Men are visual. They are natural born voyeurs. They are fascinated by what they see. And there is nothing more fascinating than that which is not suppose to be seen. Young boys embarking on their sexuality often get their first erotic stimulation by accidentally sneaking a peek down a lady’s top, or seeing panties under a skirt that has been blown from the wind. He may have snuck a catalog and hid in order to look at the underwear ads. The visual is exciting enough, but seeing what you’re not suppose to see gives that excitement an an extra erotic charge.

We are all fascinated by what we shouldn’t see. That’s why we stare at car crashes, watch reality shows and love to gossip. It’s real, it’s the stuff of life and it’s none of our business. That makes it all the more fun.

When a man see the forbidden fruit, what he’s not suppose to see, it takes him back to his lusty beginnings. It’s lascivious and provocative and real.

Imagine two women at a party. Both are equally attractive and of similar body types with curves where it counts.

Both are wearing the party-goers favorite: The Little Black Dress.

Woman #1 is single. Her dress is tight and clingy. It is very short and the front is very low. Her cleavage is well displayed as half her breasts are exposed. It’s obvious she is quite comfortable flaunting what she’s got as she doesn’t appear embarrassed or self-conscious in the least.

Woman #2 arrived with a date. Her dress is form-fitting and stops a few inches above the knee. It is slit up the side to a sexy but appropriate height. The neckline embellishes her breasts in a low scoop, but covers them save for a hint of cleavage.

Woman #1 saunters around the party, bending, leaning, flipping her hair and flirting openly. Every man clearly enjoys the show and she has plainly invited them to. They check her out openly, get a healthy eye-ful and love every second of it. She knows it and everyone is happy.

Woman #2 walks with self-assurance. She carries herself sensually like a cat. She mingles, entices, and smiles coyly. Occasionally, she leans forward to retrieve an appetizer from the table and the men around her instinctively seize the moment and steal a glance down the front of her dress. Her eyes catch theirs for the briefest of moments and she feels her face flush. The men note her embarrassment, which adds to their excitement, and dart their eyes away. They want to see more.

Later as she sits with her legs crossed Woman #2 doesn’t realize that the slit in her dress has fallen open and is revealing the tiniest peek of lace at the top of her stockings. Her dress has inched up, even as she absentmindedly smoothed it thinking herself covered. The small patch of lace is all that is needed to finish the image in the minds of the viewers of a garter belt and matching lace panties. She looks their way, and they dart their eyes away again in this game of thievery. When she crosses her legs the other way, they are rewarded with a thin line of bare skin as her dress rides up a little more. Wow.

Which woman do you think is more fun to look at? Oh, there are some men who may say Woman #1 but most will be bewitched by Woman #2 because of the law of the forbidden.

Woman #1 is single and available. She wants to be looked at. They are supposed to look at her. Her body is on display openly. The men DO look and enjoy what they see. But they don’t feel like they are getting away with anything. They aren’t seeing anything that isn’t suppose to be seen. And they can’t really take her seriously.

Woman #2 came with a date. You’re not supposed to look at someone else’s woman, ‘like that’. Forbidden fruit. She is classy and real. She embarrasses when she realizes she’s indiscreet as she leans forward and offers a view down her dress. Forbidden fruit. She didn’t intend to reveal so much leg. Forbidden fruit. The lace of her stockings peeking out. Forbidden fruit. Her bare skin revealed when she thought she was covered. Forbidden fruit.

Woman #1 should have demanded the attention all night. Men could gawk all they wanted without hiding or sneaking. It was easy. Maybe a little too easy.

Woman #2 whether she had meant to or not stole the night because of the law of forbidden. It is always more fascinating to see what you are not suppose to see.

This is where the saying Less is More comes from. It is sexier to be modestly covered except that one leg, arm, shoulder or back that gets displayed daringly, all be it coyly, than to show everything front and center. That one body part sneakily displayed becomes a magnet and a focus. The peek of your body makes men wonder what the rest looks like. They want to see more and they watch for more.

The subtle movements in which you ‘accidentally’ offer a better view can entice and bewitch him more than if you wore a tube top and Daisy Dukes. I’m not saying he won’t enjoy the view of having it all thrown out there, but it’s always much more fun, and thrilling and feels a little sneaky to see what he’s not supposed to.

The post How To Seduce Him Using Forbidden Fruit appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


Honest Communication in Relationships. Really?

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 13:48

We all SAY we want honest communication with our partners but do we, really?

I was chatting with some girlfriends the other day and I told them that I recently asked my boyfriend if there was really much variance in the way different vaginas felt.

His answer, though not important to this article, was yes, they do in fact vary in feeling, texture, shape, size. The difference isn’t always subtle. Intriguing…Apart from the obvious: size, I didn’t think there could be much difference. See? Ask and you learn something new and interesting every day!

But what I found the most interesting was the reaction of my girlfriends to the fact that I could ask him such a thing. While they wanted to know every detail of my boyfriend’s answer to this question, the thought of asking their own husbands the same question was incomprehensible.

“But why?” I asked.

“Because I don’t WANT him to think about the other vaginas he’s sampled.” FEAR

“Because I don’t WANT to hear him describing the feeling of other vaginas he’s sampled.” INSECURITY

“Because I don’t WANT to put the thought of sex with his past girlfriends in his mind.” CONTROL

“But he has past experiences and memories that he probably thinks about from time to time, anyway.” I protested. “You’re asking him about them or not won’t control his mind.”

“Perhaps”, they both agreed but they didn’t want to be the catalyst for placing those memories front and center if they were currently tucked neatly away.

I understood what they were saying and I’m not suggesting everyone “should” go straight home and ask their men for details about the various vaginas they’ve sexed. But it made me wonder about other topics they surely avoid for the same reason. And how choosing to deny that your partner has certain thoughts and feelings usually also results in demanding that he lie to you by confirming your denial.

“No, Dear, I couldn’t even imagine having sex with another woman.”

“What woman? No, I wasn’t looking at her; I didn’t even notice another woman in the room.”

“No, I never ever replay in my mind a sexual encounter that I had before I met you.”

If we avoid truth, honesty and open communication because we are insecure or afraid then we place a barrier to the level of intimacy we can share. We claim that we want honesty from our partner and then demand that he lie so that we feel better.

I’m not suggesting that unless you can ask your lover to describe the other vaginas he’s felt you are unhealthy. A question like that may never have crossed your mind.

The point is, if you do wonder about something -anything-CAN you ask? Or does your fear of the answer paralyze you from action? And what if you do hear the answer? Do you punish him for it later or demand that he coax any insecurity that comes up?

Can you separate YOUR emotional need for validation and accept who he is as a separate person with memories, experiences, sexual and otherwise that never included you? Can you let him share those things with you to bring you closer without feeling threatened?

I’m the curious sort. I ask all kinds of questions about everything because I am genuinely interested in the answer. I’m not looking for validation, i.e.: “Your vagina feels the bestest!”

I’m not looking to set him up by asking for information that I will hold against him in the future. “Remember all those vaginas you talked about? Just HOW MANY are we talking about?! How often do you dream about them?!”

But before he understood my goofy questions truly held no secret agenda, he tread so carefully answering them it was like pulling teeth. He was visually uncomfortable. Sometimes he would just shut me down and say he didn’t want to *go there*.

When we talked it through he said he felt like I was looking for an angle or leading him somewhere that he’d ultimately be in trouble for. WHY did I ask random questions out of the blue? Surely there was a diabolical, female scheme!

a.k.a. “Do I look fat in this?”

Women do this all the time. They aren’t interested in the truth; they are looking for verbal salve to mend an insecurity or fear.

When my boyfriend relaxed and took a leap of faith and began answering all my goofy, strange and wild questions he began to really like it. We began to have the best talks and our intimacy grew.

“I love your silly little questions.” He now says. “I can talk about anything with you.”

He knows he can be himself and tell me the truth. He trusts me with the truth of who he is. Our relationship is very intimate and close. He doesn’t have to hide to protect himself or me.

The cliché that communication is the most important part of a relationship is true, but it’s not the whole picture. Sometimes it’s not what you say, but what you DON’T say or are AFRAID to say that begins to eat at trust and intimacy.

I am a normal woman like any other. I DO have fears and insecurities that creep up sometimes in my relationship. But those are MY RESPONSIBILITY to deal with and work on. Not his. And I DO work on them to always be the best person I can be for myself first and then for him.

I won’t demand that he tell me what I need to hear or shade and deny the truth of what he thinks and feels at the expense of the integrity of our relationship. I won’t demand that he make me feel better about my fears. Most times, he’s oblivious that they are even there at all.

To him I am this incredible, cool chick that makes him feel accepted and loved for exactly who he is. He says he is more “himself” with me than with anyone before.

And that is what I needed to hear!

The post Honest Communication in Relationships. Really? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


“Think” Your Way To Dating Success

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 13:40

I’m reading a motivational book entitled “Lead the Field” by Earl Nightingale. It’s a fascinating book laying out a model for success in any area of one’s life.

In it he teaches a lesson we have all heard before from the self-help community: What you think is what you become. In fact, “You are the living embodiment of the sum total of your thoughts to this point in your life; you can be nothing else.”

That quote actually made me quite uncomfortable. Although I “know” that to be true intellectually and believe it, I also like to blame. I like to blame circumstances, other people’s behaviors, the economy, my current problem, my upbringing, my genetics, my education or lack thereof as convenient excuses for any goal or achievement I “say” I want but am not working toward or accomplishing.                                       

It also made me uncomfortable because if it is as true as I believe deep down that it is; not just a little true but 100% true, then I should be farther along in life, I should have accomplished more, I should have more money, more love, more experiences, more to show for my gifts and talents and capabilities.

But that’s okay, we all need a kick in the pants sometimes to jump start us onto the right track or to steer us back to the path of success we were on, but perhaps became sidetracked from.

What does this have to do with dating and relationships?

EVERYTHING!

Here is another quote from Nightingale:

“Before you can achieve the kind of life you want, you must think, act, talk and conduct yourself in all of your affairs as would the person you wish to become.”

Success doesn’t happen first and THEN we have a better attitude and think positive thoughts and act accordingly.

We THINK, first, then ACT, then BECOME, then ACHIEVE.

If this is so, what do you expect from a relationship?

What are your goals goals?

Once you figure that out and you must first be clear about that, then you must figure out and become through thought and action the kind of person who would attract and deserve said goals and relationship.

Isn’t that so?

Follow the logic. If you want an emotionally available, physically fit, financially stable, and loyal man in your life, ask yourself what kind of woman would deserve such a man and become that woman. How would the woman act who would attract such a man?

This exercise will help you figure out some of your self defeating behaviors so you can determine where you need to retrain your thoughts to become first yourself a better person.

For example, you are basically a great gal, but maybe you are a little insecure so you begin a new relationship and over text, become too clingy, jump toward the man like the two of you will be married in a week. Would the man I described above be attracted to this kind of woman or would he be looking for the self assured and together woman who matches his level of development?

Maybe you know you are out of shape and a bit unhealthy but aren’t doing much to get control of that either. You like your junk food in front of the TV and feel you deserve the 500 calorie chocolate brownie Frappuccino. And that is fine, but you have to honestly accept then that the physically fit hottie I described may be looking for his equal and not be attracted to someone who cares less than he does about his health and fitness.

What if you want a financially stable man, would that type of man be attracted to a woman with $10,000 in credit card debt? See you don’t have to be rich, you may have very little money, but what you do with your money and how you manage it will tell a man something about you.

It may sound like I am suggesting that you have to change who you are to get a man to like you. I am not. But if you want the best from a man and relationship, then you must first be the best YOU can be.

That is how you will attract the best.

If your problem areas are insecurity or debt, you may attract the man who likes to rescue. Now I like these types of men because they can be very chivalrous and gentlemanly and old school men of integrity. However, there is a fine line. Some men take the rescue thing to an unhealthy level because they are unhealthy. They use their need to rescue to fill their own insecurity in order to elevate their own self worth. “See how great I am because of how much I do for her.” That is not chivalry, that’s insecurity.

By the same token your insecurity, your need to be taken care of by a man (because you ain’t doin’ it for yourself) elevates in your own mind, your feeling of self worth. “See how much he loves me. He wants to take care of all my problems.”

Now you have two people, who actually need to do some work on themselves, feeding each other’s shortcomings and the relationship is partially built on sub par people. How successful will it be?

True success in life whether it be in career or love comes from who we are and who we are starts with who we “THINK” we are. If you feel worthy of that great man, you will be a great woman. You will need to become her first before you will attract the great men. The great woman takes care of herself and weeds out any self defeating behaviors. She thinks herself to success and becomes the woman who deserves the man with the laundry list of fabulous qualities she wants.

Remember: “Before you can achieve the kind of life you want, you must think, act, talk and conduct yourself in all of your affairs as would the person you wish to become.”

Would the person you wish to become, the person who deserves the great man you want have casual sex, or allow a man to make her a booty call, or accept calls at the last minute for dates and be available or worse cancel with her friends to become available? Would she prattle on about her many achievements to impress him or name drop, would she dress overly sexual because she thinks that is the way to get men? Would she drive to his side of town most of the time because she doesn’t want to put him out? Would she complain and whine and nag a man to death and then tell her girlfriends, “He wants to see his friends more than me” (go figure).

Would she belittle him in public? Would complain that he doesn’t have enough money for her while she can’t balance her checkbook? Would she covet the bodies of supermodels while downing a carton of Haagen dazs?

Most of the time ladies, dating problems are not about men. They are about you, what you do, how you think, what you put up with, how you live, what you decide to do, what you don’t do, how you think, what you think you are worth, what you expect, how you allow yourself to be treated, how you think, how you conduct yourself, how you think, how you think, how you think.

The post “Think” Your Way To Dating Success appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


Do You Dress for Men….or Other Women?

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 13:30

It was happy hour at a local restaurant the other day when a cute, all American girl walked in and strut past to join a group of gals. She was wearing tight jeans tucked into knee high black high heeled boots, a multicolored knit top that had cap sleeves and was loose around the body but had a band sewn around the bottom so it fit snug around the waist. She wore long thin chains around her neck that hung to her navel and several metal bangles.

Her long blond hair looked backcombed and sprayed for height, she had a decent amount of well applied makeup and perfectly manicured nails painted bright pink. An over-sized yellow leather bag slung on her shoulder.

I heard a comment coming from one of the men seated near me at the bar as she past.

Trying too hard,”  he said.     

I caught his eye and he was visibly embarrassed but I smiled, introduced myself, told him I write for a blog and asked him if he wouldn’t mind elaborating…..writing this blog has given me so much courage to talk to men and ask them anything and everything. It’s amazing how honest perfect strangers can be….

He was with a buddy and they proceeded to say things like:

  • “There’s too much going on, the boots, bracelets, chains, huge bag. Too much in one outfit.”
  • “Bracelets like that drive me nuts, they clang and are noisy.”
  • “I feel like I’m looking at a fashion advertisement, not the girl.”
  • “She thinks she looks hot, but we like it simple.”
  • “What’s with purses the size of luggage?”
  • “She’s pretty but she looks high maintenance.”
  • “Can she do anything with nails that long?”
  • “If her hair looks stiff, it is.”

And My Favorite Because It Sums It All Up:

“Women dress for other women, not men.”

It’s true. I believe most of the time women do dress for other women. Not intentionally, but we’ve been conditioned to. We notice everything other women are wearing (and more importantly how good they look in it). We talk to other women about fashion. We follow and want to keep up with the latest trends and jam ourselves into skinny, high waisted, low waisted, ripped, wrecked, bleached, abused jeans, tulip skirts, ballet shoes, Cami tops, and ruffles upon ruffles even if we won’t look good in them.

And worst of all we compare ourselves to other women constantly, thereby making us dress for them even more. Because we want to blend in, fit in, and measure up. We’d be mortified if we were under dressed in comparison to the other women at an event while most men wouldn’t even notice let alone care.

What men find attractive is simplicity.

They generally want form fitting clothes that show your body, but also leave something to the imagination. They usually don’t care for a whole lot of extras.

“If that girl took off the necklaces, bracelets, had a smaller purse and regular high heels, she’d look hot.”

As we all stared at her from across the room, I had to agree. Do we depend on so much fashion because we are not confident enough to carry “sexy” all by ourselves? Or have we just been brainwashed by the fashion industry?

I admit it, I love clothes and having fun with them.

But if it’s men we want to attract, we should consider what attracts them.

Here’s a few thoughts from those two that I think fit the norm of what most men find attractive about a woman’s style.

  • Men like medium length, well manicured nails painted with clear polish, light pink or beige tones. Not bright, bold colors.
  • They love high heels. And I quote, “Wear them with everything.”
  • Black can be boring- women wear it too much.
  • If there are too many zippers, ties, buttons, straps…..it’s distracting and he will be intimidated thinking of how to get it off of you. Even if you don’t want to sleep with him, you want him to imagine it.
  • Don’t over accessorize.
  • I hate to say it because I love pearls, but men find them old fashioned. I only wear mine with a very sexy dress or top to compensate. Don’t wear them with a sweater twinset!
  • Men love to see body parts so show off your best. If you have great legs, wear skirts or shorts often. If legs aren’t your best feature, don’t wear short skirts just because they are ‘in’. Choose styles that show your amazing arms, booty, shoulders….
  • Above all, be comfortable in it or don’t wear it. That means if you are tugging, rearranging, pulling down or up all evening or self conscious bending or reaching for fear of what may split or pop out, give it to Good Will. You won’t look or feel sexy if your clothes are not comfortable or they are wearing you instead of the other way around.

The post Do You Dress for Men….or Other Women? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


Set Your Goals : How To Define the Man you Want

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 13:23

If you want to find the man of your dreams, you must first be clear about what that means.

When I ask women what they are looking for in a man I get answers like, “Hmm, well he has to be nice, tall, handsome, have a good job…someone I just click with, have chemistry with” or something equally vague along those lines.

While those answers are not bad, they aren’t focused enough to ensure that you won’t waste time with the wrong man. You can “have chemistry” with many men who are “nice, tall, handsome with a good job” but be totally wrong for you. If you depend on your “feelings” to lead you in relationship matters, I guarantee you will be sorry.

Don’t misunderstand, feelings are important. I want you to have attraction and chemistry. But I don’t want you to lead from that place; depending on “clicking” and “chemistry” to tell you who you should date. If you do, those same feelings may confuse you, prevent you from spotting red flags or you’ll spot red flags but ignore them. Or worse, you’ll try to explain them away or plot ways to change them because he gives you butterflies.

Define the Man you Want

On a piece of paper you are going to write three lists.

List number one consists of six qualities your man MUST HAVE. Without any one of these you will stop dating him. They are that important. Deal breakers. This is not the place to write down givens like “nice”. Of course you want someone nice. Be more specific. What six qualities mean so much to you that without them the man doesn’t stand a chance?

For example, what if you are a practicing Christian and you’ll want your husband to share your desire to raise your children in the faith? That could be a MUST for you. Then later when you feel chemistry with the non-believer or devout Jew you can save yourself time and heartache by not getting involved. You won’t ignore this MUST by following your “feelings” and imagining you can convert him later.

Or perhaps like me you were involved with a pessimistic person whose dark cloud was so difficult to live with you now have “Optimism” on your list because you’ve experienced first hand how someone’s world view affects everything else in life.

List number two consists of six qualities your man MUST NOT HAVE.

If he has any one of these you will stop dating him. Deal breakers. Again, be specific to your personal needs and personality. This list is usually easier because as we go through relationships and experience difficulties that break us up, we grow in clarity about what we don’t want. Most people can just rattle them off but write only the top six.

List number three consists of ten qualities that are VERY IMPORTANT.

These may or may not be deal breakers. That will depend on the totality of the relationship, the weighing of all the man’s qualities. If he possesses many or the right combination of qualities on your Very Important list, you may realize that the ones he doesn’t possess no longer matter so much. Or you both may be willing to meet halfway on a few.

Let’s say “Loves to Travel” is on your list. If the man doesn’t share your wander lust, but you both are willing to compromise on the amount of travel in such a way that is satisfying, it may not be a deal breaker.

Additional Thoughts

You may be tempted to increase your MUST/MUST NOT HAVE lists to more than six. This is a mistake because before you know it, you will have constructed a perfect person who could never exist.

Your MUST/MUST NOT lists help you narrow deal breaker qualities specific to your personal needs so you don’t waste your time dating a man who makes your knees weak but is a complete introvert while you MUST spread your social wings. Don’t fool yourself, you may enjoy the spotlight at first while he quietly hangs back, but imagine a lifetime of stir-crazy when you marry him and your recluse never wants to leave the house.

When you date a new man, let him show you who he is naturally while your ears and eyes are at attention.  Don’t tell him about the lists and don’t interrogate him in order to rush to judgment. I find that men tell the greatest truths in jest and casual comments.

If you pay attention, and act accordingly you will be spending time with the quality men you desire.

And that will put you closer to the right man, your man.

The post Set Your Goals : How To Define the Man you Want appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.


Ingenious Top 10 Romantic Tips

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-11 13:05

Marriage is an organization whereby the couple joins in an exceptional type of permissible and social reliance with the objective of initiating the family life as well as taking care of them. The moment we enter into the marital life, we start wondering how we ever survived without our beloved partner. We get completely occupied in each other which help us to have an intimate romantic relationship. Romance novels provides lots of love tips to duos for a joyful married life.

You would feel that once you are married you are tied up with lot many responsibilities which can result to fall down of your romantic life, like more concentrated focus on occupational profession, children as well as paying bills. Are you able to find time for your spouse in this materialistic world?

If ever you wish to have lifelong romantic relationship with your dearly loved please give them sufficient time. You need to stay focused on your much-loved companion. You need to convey your love to your partner in as many ingenious ways as possible. Let us discuss some romantic techniques in a nutshell.

1. Romantic Message to your partner will always count a lot: There is one simple & exceptional technique which can maintain the spark and fervor going in your martial relationship i.e. highly recommended to send every day reminders to your darling on how much you love & value them.

2. It’s always a best romantic idea to sing a song for your beloved companion. Other way is calling your neighboring radio station, requesting a romantic melody for your partner that express how you feel about them & their romantic relationship.

3.You can go for electrifying romantic long drive which bestows you an exceptional opportunity to be in each other association. It would be an implausible idea to have a walk together on the seashore. Let the nature set the frame of mind for romantic twilight. It would be lovely if you hold the hands of your partner while walking. Be an attentive listener. In this way you can understand your companion in the much better way.

4. Cook the favorite dish of your darling: The most excellent way to reach the heart of any human being is through their stomach. Astonish your partner by serving their preferred feast when they are back to home from the office after the completion of the working hours. They will be overjoyed to have the yummy meals & would surely be grateful for the endeavor and the time you had invested in cooking.

5. It’s good to watch a romantic movie with your companion. Do confirm the timings of the movie time and hang out with each other by having a wonderful time.

6.Only speak up on those subjects that interests your partner & be a caring listener while they talk by showing your concern. No matter the topic is not of your interest, take pleasure in watching your beloved as they get predetermined over the discussion. Please take interest in the leisure pursuit of your partner, like watching the cricket match. Perform it with the spirit of romantic love & enthusiasm.

7. You need to have eye to eye contact with your dearly loved when they have conversation with you. This will confirm that you are giving them complete attention on what they desire to say. One to One contact in the eyes will make your companion feel that you truly admire them & are genuinely interested in what they want to articulate.

8. Always best to plan a romantic date within the specified budget. The moment your partner comes home tell them to get in the car without any queries. Keep smiling so that they don’t get an emergency alarm. Do take your sweetheart to the exact venue of the romantic date, play calm peaceful soothing music and have some appetizing banquet of their choice.

9. Always better to create your own blog or your website. Each day write a short love note for your sweaty pie consistently in your own words and do make an endeavor to express it on your romantic blog.

10. Make an exceptional photograph album for your spouse with unique letters, cards & other back to back reminders. Always keep your wedding photographs on show. Do take some little time to share your old romantic memoirs on your wedding anniversary collectively as you assess them. It will be a great memento on the commencement of your love journey and how it has achieved the joyful goals of love and happiness within the specified period of time. Please write your thoughts in the comments.

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5 Sad Songs About Women Cheating

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-09 10:41

If you have ever been cheated on by a woman, then you will want to listen to these five sad songs about women cheating. While some people might find the songs depressing, many find great comfort in listening to them. Listening to these songs can make you realize that you are not the only one going through having a woman cheat on you. Listen to these five sad songs about women cheating and take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

  1. “You Know I’m no Good” by Amy Winehouse. This sad song about women cheating is about a wife that cheats on her husband with her ex boyfriend. In the song, she talks about how she not only cheated on her husband, but how she cheated on herself. This song is really sad because the singer keeps singing about how she is no good and how she is crying on the bathroom floor.
  2. “Whiskey Lullaby” by Brad Paisley. Break out the tissues, because this sad country love song about a woman who cheats is sad enough to bring anyone to tears. The song is about a guy who catches his girl cheating on him. The guy is so broken up that he drinks himself to death. To make matters worse, the woman in the song feels so guilty that she also drinks her self to death. Listening to this song is sure to make you think about the consequences of cheating.
  3. “How Could You” by Mario. In this sad song about a woman cheating, the guy can’t belive that his woman would cheat on him. He sings about how he tried to give his girl everything, but she cheated on him anyway. He doesn’t understand how she could do that to him, because he loved her enough to marry her. He is so sad because he he feels like he did everything he could for her, but it just wasn’t good enough.
  4. “At this Moment” by Billy Vera. In this sad song about a woman cheating, the woman tells her man that she doesn’t love him anymore because she found someone else. The guy singing the song keeps asking the woman what she thought he would think when she told him she didn’t love him anymore. The guy also sings about how he could never hurt this woman, because he loves her. In the song, he sings about all the different things he would do if he could just hold her again.
  5. “Runaround Sue” by Dion. The poor guy in this song loves a woman who cheats with every guy in town. The girl in this song lets the guy fall in love with her, but then cheats on him. The guy singing this sad song, about a woman who cheats, warns other guys to stay away from her, because she will make them cry. Even though the guy knows he should have stayed away from her, he could not help but to fall in love with her.

Read more: http://www.mademan.com/mm/5-sad-songs-about-women-cheating.html#ixzz3yBSjI2PR

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10 Best Songs About Losing Your Best Friend

Permalink - Posted on 2021-01-09 10:34

Are you wondering what are the 10 best songs about losing your best friend? In this mobile world, having a male or female friend who needs to move on is not uncommon. Though the separation may invoke feelings of sadness, loneliness, or longing to return to that person’s side, there is the modern day ability to send someone a song in a card, or e-card, to remind them of how you feel.

  1. Dont Speak” by No Doubt. Written by Eric and Gwen Stefani, “Dont Speak” is a sad song about losing your best friend (and lover). This song gained international success the same year as its release in 1996 and can be found on the “Tragic Kingdom” album.
  2. “I’m Lost Without You” by Blink 182. This is from the “Blink-182” album. Singer Tom Delonge swears the band worked on this one for six months. The result is an excellent song about losing your best friend.
  3. “Who Knew” by Pink. Off the 2006 “I’m Not Dead” album, “Who Knew” is a sad song about a boy/girl relationship wherein she finds out that he has drug issues. Pink enjoyed international success with this song about losing your best friend.
  4. “If I Could” by Jack Johnson. From the “In Between Dreams” album (2005), “If I Could” describes losing a friend while a baby is born. Jack’s simple soft rock style and his perspective of changing things if he could is pleasing.
  5. “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” by Sir Elton John. “Blue Moves,” released in 1976, gave the world “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.” This song about losing your best friend is a melancholy tune about undying friendship/love.
  6. “All Good Things (Come To An End)” by Nelly Furtado. Her third album, “Loose,” gave Furtado her largest publicity and sales. “All Good Things” is a sweet song about losing your best friend.
  7. “How To Save A Life” by The Fray. From the debut album of the same name, Isaac Slade masterfully created this best song about losing your best friend based on his own experiences. This touching song deals with so many aspects of life and emotions, such as acceptance and learning.
  8. “Without You Here” by the Goo Goo Dolls. “Let Love In” is the Goo Goo Dolls anniversary album where you’ll find “Without You Here.” Rzeznik really hits home with this song about losing your friend.
  9. “Seasons In The Sun” by Terry Jack. A classic best song about losing your best friend released in 1973, “Seasons In The Sun” is sung from the dying person’s perspective to his loving family. The song has had many covers, including one from Westlife that sounds pretty close to Jack’s.
  10. “So Far Away” by Carol King. Written and recorded by Carol King, “So Far Away” is still a much played song about losing your best friend. Off of the 1971 “Tapestry” album, King asks the simple question, “doesn’t anybody stay in one place anymore?”

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